Sunday, February 10, 2013

A Scholarship Made With Me in Mind

If you’ve ever filled out a scholarship application or written an essay for a grant, you know it’s not the most glamorous process in the world. In fact, I’d rather run Hospital Hill again than spend a day filling them out (see Hospital Hill post: http://ejbrest.blogspot.com/2012/07/hospital-hill-painful-true-tale-of-one.html).

Nevertheless, I am a poor college student in need of money, so I began the search. In doing so, I came across a scholarship with an essay that I’m almost positive was made for me. It requires an essay of 250 words or less, which in and of itself is fantastic, because no one likes writing essays. Yet, even better, it poses the following question:

“Which superhero or villain would you want to change places with for a day and why?”


Is that really the question?

Nooooo……

No, I’m being punk’d.

Ashton Kutcher?

Ashton, are you here?

Will you sign my copy of “The Butterfly Effect,” even though I’m trying to sell it?

Nevertheless, my mind started filling with possible answers immediately. I never thought I’d say this, but my essay ended up being too long by twice as much. I had to shorten it to get it to barely fit in the box at 248 words.

However, I bring to you, family members and random people who clicked on my link on Facebook, the full and unedited version of my scholarship application essay. Found only here.

Enjoy.

“There are a lot of superheroes out there. No doubt, each one of “The Avengers” is still pretty big right now, but as far as which one with whom I would trade places, there are several schools of thought.

1) Superman: Superman is just that - a super man. Faster than the speed of light by some accounts, heat/laser vision, strength, flight, and invincibility are his most widely known superpowers. Not to mention x-ray and micro-vision. I actually gave a speech in Public Speaking last semester on why he’s all around a great role model for America’s youth (search, “why Batman is bad for kids” on YouTube). Without a doubt, Superman is my favorite superhero.

2) Spiderman: everyone who saw any of the Spiderman movies in the theater came out wanting to pretend to shoot webs at people. I’ll admit, I actually tried (it doesn’t work, and contrary to what your friends tell you, girls don’t find it quirky and adorable). This guy is a struggling college student who is madly in love with the girl next door who he could never get to pay him any attention, depending on what story line you go with. If nothing else, he’s very relatable.

3) Iron Man: Most everyone has thought to themselves, “Self, what it would it be like to be a billionaire playboy with a superhero alter ego?” Tony Stark is the perfect example! Yeah, okay, Bruce Wayne kind of has the same thing going on, but I think Batman’s a bit overrated. Again, watch my YouTube video. Besides, Tony Stark has a suit packed full of cool weapons and the voice of Paul Bettany to attend to his every whim. What more could you possibly want?!

4) Lex Luthor: Bald, rich, and the smartest man in the world. What’s not to love? What? He’s evil? Meh, minor detail. Besides, that’s all based on your perspective. Personally, I am a huge fan of Smallville, which chronicles Superman’s teenage years. One thing I love about that show is Lex’s growth as a human being. There is no defining moment which turns him to the dark side, but rather his friendship with young Clark Kent, a boy with many secrets who refuses to trust Lex enough to share them, drives him more or less mad (both actual anger and a little craziness).

5) Batman: … Ha.

In summary, Superman is my favorite, yes, but the amount of responsibility that comes with being invincible and faster than a speeding bullet is one I just don’t think I could handle.

Iron Man and Lex are also prime candidates, but Iron Man is too full of himself and Lex, well, yes, Lex is evil. I’m not. The two don’t go together very well. Even though we’re both bald, and he’s only evil because of Clark, but that’s a whole other essay.

So, Spiderman it is! He’s human with a genetic mutation, he can climb walls, he has a key to NYC, and the ladies love him. Not to mention he saves the day, like a BOSS!”

For my fellow scholarship hunters out there, here’s a link to this website: <http://www.scholarshipexperts.com>. They have a lot of great scholarships to offer with simple essay topics, as you can see.

Out.

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